In Which Steve Is Apparently Ariel (or, Tony Hates Everything, Especially Loki and Disney)

theappleppielifestyle:

There, you see him, sitting there across the way-“

“Clint, I swear to god, I will take off my 800 dollar shoes and thrust them viciously and enthusiastically down your throat.”

He don’t got a lot to say, but there’s something about hi-“

Tony opens his mouth to yell, but Coulson puts a hand on his shoulder. “He can’t help it, Stark. Loki-“

“I noticed,” Tony hisses. “What the fuck, enchanting everyone with fucking Disney-“

Clint, who, by now, is clawing at Coulson with desperate, ‘oh-my-god-kill-me-I-want-to-die’ eyes, continues to sing. “-ou don’t know why, but you’re dying to try, you wanna kiss the guy-“

“Fuck Loki.” Tony starts pacing, and then stops. “Loki can go suck a dick.”

Coulson, as he always is during a crisis, involuntary Disney songs aside, keeps a straight face. “It could be the cure to whatever he’s put on us.”

Tony whirls, clenching and unclenching his hands. “Yeah, emphasis on could! Either that, or I’m going to- to-“

“Kiss Steve for nothing,” Coulson interjects helpfully. “I’m sure that will be horrible for you.”

Yes, you want him, look at him you know you d-“

“CLINT, IF YOU DON’T-“

”-possible he wants you, too, ther-“

“-STOP YOURSELF FROM SINGING, I SWEAR TO GOD-“

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Why do I see Tony and Steve incats?
Tony: “Steve, don’t, it’ll go off in just a moment, you don’t need to—fine. Awesome. Great. We have a picture of America’s golden baby blues and part of your nose. I’m not sure whether to send this to Barton first so he can bring this up at the next briefing—which will derail the entire thing andpiss Fury off, which is really worth it right there—or Coulson. Actually, it’d be the same thing, but if I send it to Barton I can have JARVIS hack into his phone so that when he shows it to Coulson I can take a picture of his expression. Three birds with one picture, I love this idea. Now come here and just waitthis time, I want a picture to show Peter when he grows up. Actually, I’m going to show this one to him anyway, but that’s just because it’ll make you—oh, hey, how about that? You’re already blushing. Aw, come here sweetcheeks. I’ll kiss that burn for you… oh, hey, perfect, see, I told you it’d take the photo!”

Why do I see Tony and Steve incats?

Tony: “Steve, don’t, it’ll go off in just a moment, you don’t need to—fine. Awesome. Great. We have a picture of America’s golden baby blues and part of your nose. I’m not sure whether to send this to Barton first so he can bring this up at the next briefing—which will derail the entire thing andpiss Fury off, which is really worth it right there—or Coulson. Actually, it’d be the same thing, but if I send it to Barton I can have JARVIS hack into his phone so that when he shows it to Coulson I can take a picture of his expression. Three birds with one picture, I love this idea. Now come here and just waitthis time, I want a picture to show Peter when he grows up. Actually, I’m going to show this one to him anyway, but that’s just because it’ll make you—oh, hey, how about that? You’re already blushing. Aw, come here sweetcheeks. I’ll kiss that burn for you… oh, hey, perfect, see, I told you it’d take the photo!”

Quotes from The Student Prince: Chapter 7

“I wouldn’t want to fuck you if you had a ten inch knob made of solid gold and your arsehole was the gate to Nirvana, you massive pillock,” said Merlin, red faced and furious.

Arthur looked at him quizzically. “Okay,” he said. “Sorry, my bad. Merlin, do you like to take it up the arse, mate?”

Merlin gaped. “What?”

“I’m asking if you like cock. If you’re a homosexual. Do you like to fuck other men, Merlin, in a deeply gay sort of way?”

I love this fic so much.

The Darkest Hour is Just Before the Dawn (Steve/Tony, superfamily/superhusbands)

I accidentally superhusband and superfamily and wanted to share it with everyone. So from my AO3 with fondest wishes of enjoyment, may I present ‘The Darkest Hour is Just Before the Dawn’.

The Civil War tore through the superheroes, but it hits the Stark-Rogers family the hardest. When things get out of hand Steve makes a move that he can’t take back—but maybe Tony can.

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rogers-and-stark:

assvengers:

big bang! a scene from often_adamanta’s slipping through the years~

PLEASE EXCUSE THE INCONSISTENCIES/BACKGROUNDS/GROSS DECORATING sob

it has been an extremely long couple of weeks

Reblog because of artist =)

OMFG I love this fic so much!!!

thebritishteapot:

from Sherlock: Scandal in Belgravia

and here I faint

Sherlock had never before understood why some parents see their child doing something and immediately panic. Granted, the ‘something’ was almost always undeniably foolish and potentially dangerous, but if every child doing something foolish ended in sudden death as the parent’s reaction implied, the human species would have been wiped out centuries ago.

Nothing had prepared him for seeing Hamish on the side of a building, however. The ledge was barely wider than his body, which in any other situation Sherlock would have found perfectly safe. Children were much more careful than parents gave them credit for. But watching his son’s ankles wobble with each step—however natural that was for a child of his age, lacking refined proprioception— sent stark terror through Sherlock so much that he could only stop mid-stride with his mouth open.

Sherlock and John had noticed something was amiss when John came home and Sherlock was there, yet the flat was quiet. “Is Hamish studying?”

Sherlock barely looked up from his experiment. “How should I know? I’m not omniscient, John.” 

“Well, did he mention anything on the way home? Is he alright?”

Sherlock jerked up from the sample he was currently taking. “What?”

“Did he say anything? He’s been having trouble with some—”

“No. Farther back. On the way home? John, it’s Tuesday.”

“No, yesterday was Tuesday, as evidenced by the fact that I am only arriving home n—Oh my god.” The color left John’s face as both he and Sherlock instantly raced through the door and down the stairs.

Hamish took after Sherlock more, perhaps because of the genetics, perhaps exposure over time. Either way, he was given to tangents and exploring things that struck his interest, which at the tender age of seven, was just about everything.

In this case, an owl statue placed outside on the ledge. The same ledge Hamish was now currently walking along. When he came to a protruding column of bricks, Sherlock felt his heart clench painfully and sweat bead on his brow.

Must have told them his father worked there, had someone show him to a room. Idiots, those idiots.

He noticed a window open not far away and his breath finally released. Blond hair (probably ready to sprout grey at this latest stunt) followed by a buttoned shirt and a jumper leaned out and it was obvious even from this distance that John was concentrating on not looking down.

Hamish was contemplating how to safely get around the column, judging by the hesitancy and the glances from the narrowing path to the width of the column. John took advantage of his preoccupation as he stepped onto the ledge and pressed his back against the window. 

“Hamish,” his mouth moved, and Sherlock watched their son jump and darted forward, readying to catch the boy, for all the good that would do. John whipped a hand out at the same time, but Hamish had already turned and had backed himself into the corner that the outstanding bricks provided. Coincidentally, also the safest spot for him to stay at. John obviously noticed the same thing and some of the stiffness left him. He was saying something now, and Hamish was probably tearing up, but John was calmly reaching out his arm and smiling at him. Hamish took his hand and allowed John to pull him into his body, and Sherlock watched as broad shoulders slumped and he cupped the back of their son’s head. John carefully guided Hamish around his body until the boy slipped in through the window, and John followed, taking his time much, much more slowly.

Sherlock was waiting in front of the building as they exited, and Sherlock wasted no time before crushing his son against him. He dropped to his knees and pressed Hamish’s face to his shoulder. With his other hand he gripped John’s tightly, pulling it to his face to kiss it. In a rare display of affection in public he pressed his mouth from John’s hand to Hamish’s head, then turned back and forth to repeat the gestures twice more. Finally taking a deep breath, he placed both hands on Hamish’s shoulders and pushed him back far enough to lock gazes. “If you ever do that again, you will be grounded until you can calculate the peak force with which you could have fallen and crashed onto the pavement at. Am I understood?”

Hamish’s eyes were filled with water as he nodded, and John stroked both curly heads. “Let’s go home. I think a day like this deserves those biscuits Mrs. Hudson makes so well. And Hamish?”

Hamish looked sheepishly up at him.

“Next time, just look at the camera and point to the damn bird. Uncle Mycroft will find a way to fetch it for you.” John winked.

Hamish grinned and did just that. “Do you think he will, Papa?”

“Only Anderson would miss that cue, sunshine,” John grinned back. 

Identical features of dislike settled under identical dark curly hair, one with light blue mixed with an extra dose of disdain, the other dark blue trying to mimic the rest of the expression on Sherlock’s face. 

John laughed at the accuracy and shook his head. “Come on, slugs. We’ll be late for Doctor Who if we don’t hurry up.”

John winked at his husband over their son’s head as the boy picked up the pace, pulling on their hands to get them to go faster. After all, like fathers, like son.

sherlockedandnotginger:

“It’s my boyfriend - sorry.”

Sorry, but it had to be done. Warning for mpreg. :)
The phone rang in Sherlock’s pocket, buzzing angrily until Sherlock sighed and drew it out. Fighting a smile, then looking back to Dimmock (Lestrade was on paternity leave, having just had 7 pound 8 ounce Adella last week—Mycroft had chosen the name, of course, after their grandmother on Mum
my’s side), his brows rose. “It’s my husband, sorry. You have the information you need?”
“Maybe, but—”
Sherlock was already turning, pressing the answer button as he raised the phone. “I’m at work, sweetie,” he said in an exaggerated tone.
“Dear god, please tell me that you don’t actually have pet names. I may have to purge my lunch.”
Mycroft’s voice startled Sherlock into taking a second look at his phone. John Holmes-Watson, it said proudly. The shock turned to a scowl as he pressed it back to his ear. “Mycroft,” he ground out, “What are you doing with John’s phone? Did you really kidnap him just to make use of his phone to pester me? That’s a new low, even for you.”
“I tried calling you. Twice, in fact. You didn’t answer.”
“Hmm, perhaps there may have been a reason for that. It still doesn’t answer why you have John’s phone.”
“Your husband is in the hospital.”
“Clinic, Mycroft. Honestly. And I realize this. Which is why it vexes me that you—”
“I meant exactly what I said. John is in the hospital. He collapsed earlier this afternoon just after finishing with his last patient. A co-worker saw it happen and called an ambulance.”
Sherlock stopped dead in his tracks, breath catching in his throat. His brain shut down for a moment, unwilling to comprehend the information it had just been given. Then it kicked in again and it computed faster for the brief lag. Tables of potential diseases, their effects and how John could have come in contact with them (most often his work, sometimes through Sherlock’s cases when examining the bodies) poured into his inner vision before he forced it to stop. He took a deep breath, attempting to calm down. His voice held a slight tremor nonetheless. “Have they found anything?”
“If they have, I’m not privy to the results. It seems I did not engender warm sentiments with them during my hours here.”
“Good god, it’s any wonder. You were bloody awful, threatened to sack them and send them off to Newgate.” Lestrade’s voice came through the phone, slightly muffled.
“What’s Lestrade doing there? Shouldn’t he be in bed or something? What about Adella? Is she there, too?”
“No, Mummy has her for the moment. And to answer your first question, I married him. You married John. I occupied the womb before you, meaning in a way that should be easy for you to understand, John is his family, as well.”
Sherlock bit his lip, oddly touched. “Tell him thanks. I’ll be there as quickly as Dimmock can get us there.”
There was a silence for a moment as Mycroft obviously pondered what was the correct thing to say. “Try not to worry. I’m sure he’s fine.”
The overused expression made Sherlock feel equal needs to snarl and tear up. He hung up before he let his emotions overpower his much-needed sense.
At hearing his name mentioned, the DI had turned and started to say something pithy. Something of what the consulting detective felt must have shown on Sherlock’s face, however, and he stopped before he could begin. “What’s happened?” he asked, face serious.
“My husband was taken to the hospital earlier this afternoon.” Sherlock looked up from the phone and forced his mind back into working order, for the moment. “I need a car. I need to get to Bart’s and I can’t get through traffic fast enough without—”
“Done. Let’s go. Westerby, call Guillam and tell him he’s in charge of this one ‘til I get back.” Dimmock was already out the door, keys in hand. Sherlock didn’t know whether to be genuinely surprised or genuinely pleased that the detective hadn’t even hesitated. Regardless, he followed almost literally on the man’s heels, slamming the door shut with more force than necessary as Dimmock did the same.
“Bart’s, you said?”
“Bart’s.”
Dimmock turned the sirens on to full wail as they tore into the street. They made it in record time—given it was rush hour in London the week before a holiday—and Sherlock shot out of the car before it fully stopped. He sprinted into the building and found Mycroft waiting for him.
“John—is he alright? Tell me—” The panic he had kept tightly under control sprang forth at the sight of his brother.
“As I said before, I don’t know. They haven’t given any call for—”
“Holmes-Watson? John Holmes-Watson?” The inappropriately chipper nurse called from a doorway, and Sherlock’s head snapped towards it. He would have barreled in that direction just as he had towards Mycroft if not for the man’s grip on his arm suddenly, keeping him heeled as the infuriating man walked at the speed of smell to the even more infuriating woman.
“That would be us. We’re his brother-in-law and—”
“Husband. I’m his husband. Tell me what’s wrong.” He couldn’t deduce it from her because of the damned emotions threatening to cut his air supply off at the thought of his husband lying a bed, cold-pale-quiet and—
“Follow me. The doctor will see you with the results shortly.”
“I’ll await your return here, Sherlock. Do try not to terrorize anyone in the meantime.”
Sherlock blandly followed her to a nondescript room like every other, except it wasn’t, this room had John. The door opened and Sherlock rushed forward before she could even step aside. 
“John.” The taller man reached the side of the bed within moments, eyes darting over his husband’s face in an attempt to find the malady from sight.
“Sherlock. Jesus, you’re bone white. Calm down. I’m fine, I just missed breakfast this morning.” John took one of Sherlock’s hands between his own—even the one with the IV sticking out of it—and rubbed it soothingly, both to warm it and reassure the consulting detective that he was safe and sound. “Relax, would you? It’s starting to look like you should be the one here.”
“When I got the call, I thought…” he couldn’t voice it.
John smiled softly and raised the hand to press a kiss to the knuckles, then the simple band around the fourth finger. “I know. I would have too. Actually, I would have thought something more exotic, most likely, but that’s just semantics.” He reached a hand up to cup Sherlock’s cheek and pulled him down to sit on the bed. “I’m okay. We’re okay.”
Sherlock nodded dumbly, pressing his cheek more firmly into John’s hand and cradling it there with his own. They sat there in silence, each taking and giving comfort, until the doctor came a few minutes later.
“Misters Holmes-Watson. I’m Doctor Sachs,” said the kind, rather homely woman garbed in the white coat. “I understand you had a bit of a spell earlier today, John?”
John’s ears turned pink. “Yeah. I hadn’t felt very well earlier that morning. I should have just called in sick, but,” he shrugged. “You know, patients, schedule, work and all that.”
Dr. Sachs smiled understandingly and nodded. “I know exactly what you mean. Good news is, your lab results came back just fine, no elevation of T cells in the bloodstream. Sugar levels came back normal as well. You’re perfectly healthy.”
John nodded and looked at Sherlock with an ‘I told you so’ expression, raised eyebrows and pursed lips fighting a smile. Sherlock let out a sigh of relief and stroked his thumb over the back of John’s hand.
The doctor waited until the pair returned from their own world and turned to her before continuing. “Blood results also showed the cause of the brief change in homeostasis.”
“And?” Sherlock asked, brow furrowing and hand tightening around John’s.
“The lab identified HCG in the sample.”
John’s face smoothed blank and his mouth opened, while Sherlock looked in frustration between the two doctors.
“Being as I don’t actually have a degree in the medical field, would someone care to explain what this means?”
“Congratulations, Misters Holmes-Watson. You’re pregnant.”
Sherlock’s face followed John’s lead as his jaw slackened. He looked down at John, first into his husband’s eyes and then at his abdomen, still flat, but undeniably carrying their child.
Their child. Pregnant. Sherlock didn’t know what to think. They hadn’t thought about it, to be honest. They’d always known there was a chance, but after years of unprotected sexual activity, the likelihood of it happening had ceased to occur to them. Not that they had really had time to give it much thought other than acknowledging the possibility.
Sherlock’s gaze traveled back up to John’s, and he looked into the darker blue eyes and realized that this child would be a part of both of them. Sherlock and John. The odds calculated before his eyes of hair color, skin pigment, eye color, build, weight, height, mental capacity, personality traits—a human being comprised of both of them, the best and worst and striking combinations of both parents into one evolving person. Sherlock felt the smile stretch his face until he thought it might crack. He bent to press kisses over John’s face, his forehead, eyelids, nose, mouth, and pressed his own forehead against John’s.
“Hamish.” He said quite happily, and felt John’s laughter reverberate into his body.
“Hamish it is.”

sherlockedandnotginger:

“It’s my boyfriend - sorry.”

Sorry, but it had to be done. Warning for mpreg. :)

The phone rang in Sherlock’s pocket, buzzing angrily until Sherlock sighed and drew it out. Fighting a smile, then looking back to Dimmock (Lestrade was on paternity leave, having just had 7 pound 8 ounce Adella last week—Mycroft had chosen the name, of course, after their grandmother on Mum

my’s side), his brows rose. “It’s my husband, sorry. You have the information you need?”

“Maybe, but—”

Sherlock was already turning, pressing the answer button as he raised the phone. “I’m at work, sweetie,” he said in an exaggerated tone.

“Dear god, please tell me that you don’t actually have pet names. I may have to purge my lunch.”

Mycroft’s voice startled Sherlock into taking a second look at his phone. John Holmes-Watson, it said proudly. The shock turned to a scowl as he pressed it back to his ear. “Mycroft,” he ground out, “What are you doing with John’s phone? Did you really kidnap him just to make use of his phone to pester me? That’s a new low, even for you.”

“I tried calling you. Twice, in fact. You didn’t answer.”

“Hmm, perhaps there may have been a reason for that. It still doesn’t answer why you have John’s phone.”

“Your husband is in the hospital.”

“Clinic, Mycroft. Honestly. And I realize this. Which is why it vexes me that you—”

“I meant exactly what I said. John is in the hospital. He collapsed earlier this afternoon just after finishing with his last patient. A co-worker saw it happen and called an ambulance.”

Sherlock stopped dead in his tracks, breath catching in his throat. His brain shut down for a moment, unwilling to comprehend the information it had just been given. Then it kicked in again and it computed faster for the brief lag. Tables of potential diseases, their effects and how John could have come in contact with them (most often his work, sometimes through Sherlock’s cases when examining the bodies) poured into his inner vision before he forced it to stop. He took a deep breath, attempting to calm down. His voice held a slight tremor nonetheless. “Have they found anything?”

“If they have, I’m not privy to the results. It seems I did not engender warm sentiments with them during my hours here.”

“Good god, it’s any wonder. You were bloody awful, threatened to sack them and send them off to Newgate.” Lestrade’s voice came through the phone, slightly muffled.

“What’s Lestrade doing there? Shouldn’t he be in bed or something? What about Adella? Is she there, too?”

“No, Mummy has her for the moment. And to answer your first question, I married him. You married John. I occupied the womb before you, meaning in a way that should be easy for you to understand, John is his family, as well.”

Sherlock bit his lip, oddly touched. “Tell him thanks. I’ll be there as quickly as Dimmock can get us there.”

There was a silence for a moment as Mycroft obviously pondered what was the correct thing to say. “Try not to worry. I’m sure he’s fine.”

The overused expression made Sherlock feel equal needs to snarl and tear up. He hung up before he let his emotions overpower his much-needed sense.

At hearing his name mentioned, the DI had turned and started to say something pithy. Something of what the consulting detective felt must have shown on Sherlock’s face, however, and he stopped before he could begin. “What’s happened?” he asked, face serious.

“My husband was taken to the hospital earlier this afternoon.” Sherlock looked up from the phone and forced his mind back into working order, for the moment. “I need a car. I need to get to Bart’s and I can’t get through traffic fast enough without—”

“Done. Let’s go. Westerby, call Guillam and tell him he’s in charge of this one ‘til I get back.” Dimmock was already out the door, keys in hand. Sherlock didn’t know whether to be genuinely surprised or genuinely pleased that the detective hadn’t even hesitated. Regardless, he followed almost literally on the man’s heels, slamming the door shut with more force than necessary as Dimmock did the same.

“Bart’s, you said?”

“Bart’s.”

Dimmock turned the sirens on to full wail as they tore into the street. They made it in record time—given it was rush hour in London the week before a holiday—and Sherlock shot out of the car before it fully stopped. He sprinted into the building and found Mycroft waiting for him.

“John—is he alright? Tell me—” The panic he had kept tightly under control sprang forth at the sight of his brother.

“As I said before, I don’t know. They haven’t given any call for—”

“Holmes-Watson? John Holmes-Watson?” The inappropriately chipper nurse called from a doorway, and Sherlock’s head snapped towards it. He would have barreled in that direction just as he had towards Mycroft if not for the man’s grip on his arm suddenly, keeping him heeled as the infuriating man walked at the speed of smell to the even more infuriating woman.

“That would be us. We’re his brother-in-law and—”

“Husband. I’m his husband. Tell me what’s wrong.” He couldn’t deduce it from her because of the damned emotions threatening to cut his air supply off at the thought of his husband lying a bed, cold-pale-quiet and—

“Follow me. The doctor will see you with the results shortly.”

“I’ll await your return here, Sherlock. Do try not to terrorize anyone in the meantime.”

Sherlock blandly followed her to a nondescript room like every other, except it wasn’t, this room had John. The door opened and Sherlock rushed forward before she could even step aside. 

“John.” The taller man reached the side of the bed within moments, eyes darting over his husband’s face in an attempt to find the malady from sight.

“Sherlock. Jesus, you’re bone white. Calm down. I’m fine, I just missed breakfast this morning.” John took one of Sherlock’s hands between his own—even the one with the IV sticking out of it—and rubbed it soothingly, both to warm it and reassure the consulting detective that he was safe and sound. “Relax, would you? It’s starting to look like you should be the one here.”

“When I got the call, I thought…” he couldn’t voice it.

John smiled softly and raised the hand to press a kiss to the knuckles, then the simple band around the fourth finger. “I know. I would have too. Actually, I would have thought something more exotic, most likely, but that’s just semantics.” He reached a hand up to cup Sherlock’s cheek and pulled him down to sit on the bed. “I’m okay. We’re okay.”

Sherlock nodded dumbly, pressing his cheek more firmly into John’s hand and cradling it there with his own. They sat there in silence, each taking and giving comfort, until the doctor came a few minutes later.

“Misters Holmes-Watson. I’m Doctor Sachs,” said the kind, rather homely woman garbed in the white coat. “I understand you had a bit of a spell earlier today, John?”

John’s ears turned pink. “Yeah. I hadn’t felt very well earlier that morning. I should have just called in sick, but,” he shrugged. “You know, patients, schedule, work and all that.”

Dr. Sachs smiled understandingly and nodded. “I know exactly what you mean. Good news is, your lab results came back just fine, no elevation of T cells in the bloodstream. Sugar levels came back normal as well. You’re perfectly healthy.”

John nodded and looked at Sherlock with an ‘I told you so’ expression, raised eyebrows and pursed lips fighting a smile. Sherlock let out a sigh of relief and stroked his thumb over the back of John’s hand.

The doctor waited until the pair returned from their own world and turned to her before continuing. “Blood results also showed the cause of the brief change in homeostasis.”

“And?” Sherlock asked, brow furrowing and hand tightening around John’s.

“The lab identified HCG in the sample.”

John’s face smoothed blank and his mouth opened, while Sherlock looked in frustration between the two doctors.

“Being as I don’t actually have a degree in the medical field, would someone care to explain what this means?”

“Congratulations, Misters Holmes-Watson. You’re pregnant.”

Sherlock’s face followed John’s lead as his jaw slackened. He looked down at John, first into his husband’s eyes and then at his abdomen, still flat, but undeniably carrying their child.

Their child. Pregnant. Sherlock didn’t know what to think. They hadn’t thought about it, to be honest. They’d always known there was a chance, but after years of unprotected sexual activity, the likelihood of it happening had ceased to occur to them. Not that they had really had time to give it much thought other than acknowledging the possibility.

Sherlock’s gaze traveled back up to John’s, and he looked into the darker blue eyes and realized that this child would be a part of both of them. Sherlock and John. The odds calculated before his eyes of hair color, skin pigment, eye color, build, weight, height, mental capacity, personality traits—a human being comprised of both of them, the best and worst and striking combinations of both parents into one evolving person. Sherlock felt the smile stretch his face until he thought it might crack. He bent to press kisses over John’s face, his forehead, eyelids, nose, mouth, and pressed his own forehead against John’s.

“Hamish.” He said quite happily, and felt John’s laughter reverberate into his body.

“Hamish it is.”

“What are you implying, Detective Inspector?”
Greg licked his lips and tried not to shift on his feet too much. “What I’m trying—and failing miserably—to ask is if you would have dinner with me.”
Mycroft blinked. “Dinner.”
“Dinner.”
“With you.”
“With me.”
Mycroft’s head jerked back, not unlike a startled bird. “Why would I do that?”
Greg shifted, starting to feel his palms sweat. “Because I fancy you, and I’d like to take you out for dinner and a drink.”
“A date?”
Greg nodded. “A date.”
“Oh.” Mycroft looked down at his umbrella and shifted its position in his hand a bit. “You do fully realize that I’m a Holmes, yes?”
Greg laughed, though not unkindly. “Yeah, I got that bit.”
Mycroft blinked again, face blank. “Yet you’re still implying that you would like to start a relationship?”
Greg didn’t react how Mycroft expected, shocked with a mixture of sudden hesitation, withdrawal and disconcertion. Instead, he kept his gaze steady on Mycroft’s, and with a hint of a smile, said, “Yes.”
Mycroft found himself wondering if the man in front of him contained the same trait as Doctor Watson, the one that enabled him to sustain long periods of time around a Holmes and not be driven away with all haste.
Mycroft’s curiosity was piqued, but he had never let that rule his decisions, unlike his younger sibling. Mycroft analyzed his own view on the matter. That the detective had asked him showed courage—he was a person of great influence, this case had revealed against his best efforts. If he knew to keep quiet and let Sherlock do whatever he needed to do (and tolerated it extraordinarily well, Mycroft had seen) he obviously had patience, which was a vital trait when dealing with the numerous immediate crises Mycroft had to attend to without warning. That this man had been the one to initiate Sherlock’s rehabilitation by enticing him with cases that stimulated his mind showed he was not only much more intelligent than Sherlock gave him credit for, but that there was a great and abiding kindness there.
Mycroft realized quite suddenly that he was attracted to this man. This was a genuine, good human being.
He had never wanted to be like Sherlock, never felt the need to be alone. Circumstances had placed him there, and while he had accepted that it was the way things were, he had not enjoyed the isolation his life had become.
Mycroft’s face softened from its stiff composure for a brief moment and he smiled slightly. “Yes. I’ll pick you up at seven on Friday, our works allowing.”
Greg grinned slowly, crows feet showing in his tanned skin. It was a good smile, Mycroft thought absently. “Great. I should give you my number and address then, so you can—”
“No need. I already have them.”
Greg paused, then shook his head, the grin turning wicked. “Of course. Holmes. I suppose if something comes up on Friday, you’ll know before me then, won’t you?”
“Does this bother you?”
“Should, but doesn’t. I’d still like your number, though.”
Mycroft felt the smile widening and fought against it. Foolish, becoming attached before the first date. Date. He had a date. How… intriguing. He typed a text on his phone for a moment, heard the phone in Gregory’s pocket vibrate, then turned at the sound of clipped heels behind him.
“Sir? The PM is on his way. We should be leaving now in time for your meeting.”
“Yes, of course. Detective Inspector—”
“Greg.”
“Greg,” Mycroft amended, “I look forward to seeing you on Friday.”
Greg grinned widely. “Same.”
Mycroft turned and headed for the car, getting in and waiting until it started moving before he opened his phone to look at what he had sent, regardless that he already knew what it was.
Shall we skip the overpriced French dinner? Pizza is a personal favourite of mine as well. -M

“What are you implying, Detective Inspector?”

Greg licked his lips and tried not to shift on his feet too much. “What I’m trying—and failing miserably—to ask is if you would have dinner with me.”

Mycroft blinked. “Dinner.”

“Dinner.”

“With you.”

“With me.”

Mycroft’s head jerked back, not unlike a startled bird. “Why would I do that?”

Greg shifted, starting to feel his palms sweat. “Because I fancy you, and I’d like to take you out for dinner and a drink.”

“A date?”

Greg nodded. “A date.”

“Oh.” Mycroft looked down at his umbrella and shifted its position in his hand a bit. “You do fully realize that I’m a Holmes, yes?”

Greg laughed, though not unkindly. “Yeah, I got that bit.”

Mycroft blinked again, face blank. “Yet you’re still implying that you would like to start a relationship?”

Greg didn’t react how Mycroft expected, shocked with a mixture of sudden hesitation, withdrawal and disconcertion. Instead, he kept his gaze steady on Mycroft’s, and with a hint of a smile, said, “Yes.”

Mycroft found himself wondering if the man in front of him contained the same trait as Doctor Watson, the one that enabled him to sustain long periods of time around a Holmes and not be driven away with all haste.

Mycroft’s curiosity was piqued, but he had never let that rule his decisions, unlike his younger sibling. Mycroft analyzed his own view on the matter. That the detective had asked him showed courage—he was a person of great influence, this case had revealed against his best efforts. If he knew to keep quiet and let Sherlock do whatever he needed to do (and tolerated it extraordinarily well, Mycroft had seen) he obviously had patience, which was a vital trait when dealing with the numerous immediate crises Mycroft had to attend to without warning. That this man had been the one to initiate Sherlock’s rehabilitation by enticing him with cases that stimulated his mind showed he was not only much more intelligent than Sherlock gave him credit for, but that there was a great and abiding kindness there.

Mycroft realized quite suddenly that he was attracted to this man. This was a genuine, good human being.

He had never wanted to be like Sherlock, never felt the need to be alone. Circumstances had placed him there, and while he had accepted that it was the way things were, he had not enjoyed the isolation his life had become.

Mycroft’s face softened from its stiff composure for a brief moment and he smiled slightly. “Yes. I’ll pick you up at seven on Friday, our works allowing.”

Greg grinned slowly, crows feet showing in his tanned skin. It was a good smile, Mycroft thought absently. “Great. I should give you my number and address then, so you can—”

“No need. I already have them.”

Greg paused, then shook his head, the grin turning wicked. “Of course. Holmes. I suppose if something comes up on Friday, you’ll know before me then, won’t you?”

“Does this bother you?”

“Should, but doesn’t. I’d still like your number, though.”

Mycroft felt the smile widening and fought against it. Foolish, becoming attached before the first date. Date. He had a date. How… intriguing. He typed a text on his phone for a moment, heard the phone in Gregory’s pocket vibrate, then turned at the sound of clipped heels behind him.

“Sir? The PM is on his way. We should be leaving now in time for your meeting.”

“Yes, of course. Detective Inspector—”

“Greg.”

“Greg,” Mycroft amended, “I look forward to seeing you on Friday.”

Greg grinned widely. “Same.”

Mycroft turned and headed for the car, getting in and waiting until it started moving before he opened his phone to look at what he had sent, regardless that he already knew what it was.

Shall we skip the overpriced French dinner? Pizza is a personal favourite of mine as well. -M

Sherlock was in Kazakhstan, situated in a small inn for the night. There was a blizzard swarming in that had closed most of the population in their homes for the next few days—the perfect time and place for a murder. Sherlock had tracked the leader of Moriarty’s human trafficking ring to here, where the man would be for the next week due to the weather and its repercussions.

Sherlock would be here for the next forty-eight hours, at most.

He had sent Mycroft a completely coded and encrypted email giving the personal status, location and plans for his current location. Tomorrow he would find from the current man the location of the assassin known as Moran, the last man in the puzzle.

Sherlock stapled his fingers together against his chin and blew out a breath.

John.

He was so close his hands were shaking. Three years of constantly being on the run, of sift-track-kill-sift-again. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept, but he knew that when he had he had seen John on one of Molly’s tables, bright light making the contrast between white-grey skin and the red marks of I O U carved into his chest sickening. A bullet wound through the heart—I will burn the heart out of you—the cause of death. 

Sherlock opened his eyes against the image and raised his head, as if to turn away from the sight. He was so close to being able to go home.

How had John fared after the funeral? Did John still make tea the same? Did he still buy the only brand of biscuits Sherlock ate? Was he still working at the same place, or had he moved from 221b and changed jobs?

Did he still think of Sherlock?

Sherlock hoped not, yet still hoped so. It would be easier if John could delete him, yet if John deleted him, what would he come back to?

Would he still love Sherlock?

Sherlock broke and pulled out his phone, small with a chip in it from fighting with the assassin trained on Mrs. Hudson a year and a half ago.

Status.

It was a few minutes before he received a reply, and he waited anxiously through each one. It was the first text he had dared risk since the end of the first year.

Single. Employed. No current illness. Continuing chronic insomnia, weight loss. Ceased seeing therapist.

Sherlock had barely read the last word before a new message popped up.

I suggest you hasten your schedule. Sleeping medication treated by perscription, yet information leads me to believe little sleep is being had.

What do you mean?

Hurry up. You’re on a count-down. Consider this the last pip.

Can’t you stall him?

I have already done so. Hurry up.

Sherlock closed his eyes and tipped his head back.

Don’t do anything stupid, John.

Then, feeling like time—John’s time—was slipping between his fingers no matter how hard he clenched them tight, he tipped his head back and looked at the stars beyond the window.

Please.

“Because I love you!”

Sherlock froze, unable to believe that had just spewed out of his mouth.

John froze as well, angry retort dying into confusion and disbelief. “You… left me… because you loved me?”

Love, John, present tense, not just past. You have always underestimated your value to me, something I didn’t know how to correct before. I could not—cannot—lose you, John.”

“And yet you expected me to be able to lose you and continue on like nothing happened.”

Sherlock winced. “It seems I erred in my judgement of myself in relation to you as well. I thought you would mourn, accept and move on.” His brows drew together sharply. “You didn’t.”

John made a scoffing sound in the back of his throat. “Right. Let me get this straight. You’re having a sulk because I didn’t move on, find a nice girl named Mary and have 2.5 kids by now?” He shook his head and turned.

Sherlock raced a step forward and gripped John’s arms, giving a brisk shake. “Do you think I’m so inhuman that I like enjoy seeing you unhappy? I didn’t want to leave, John! I didn’t want to leave what we had just started to compound upon, don’t you see? But I did because I knew you would be alive and you’re strong, John, you’ve survived bullet wounds and being all but deserted by the country you fought for and all the little things life has thrown at you. I had no idea—” his voice became too rough to continue and he swallowed, stepping forward to push his forehead against John’s more firmly than needed. “I had no idea you would feel the way you did. I never thought less of you for that day. I manipulated you, pushed you so that you would become angry and leave, because I can deal with angry. I couldn’t have the last time I saw you be a happy one because if it were I wouldn’t have been able to do what I did. And I had to. John, if you believe nothing else, please, believe that I had no choice but to leave. He would have killed you, and above all else you must be alive. Do you understand what I’m saying, John?”

“The assassins.”

Sherlock nodded minutely. “Three of them. One each for Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson—”

“And me.”

“And you.”

“You jumped because…”

“Moriarty knew the only way he could push—pardon the pun—me to do it would be if there were no other options available to me.”

“So he shot himself.”

“He made a mistake, and I caught it. So to keep me from finding the answer he put a bullet in his brain so the assassins couldn’t be called off.” Sherlock shut his eyes, feeling the overwhelming despair he’d felt at that moment when he had realized he would indeed have to go through the plan he and Molly had concocted, the one that resulted in years of killing to ensure that no one would be left to threaten John.

“Did you… how did you react?” John’s voice was hesitant, but he was pursuing the subject, and that was a good sign.

“Not well. The first week I went on a slaughtering spree. I was so angry, John. I didn’t have time to be bored because I knew I would think of you if I did. And I couldn’t. John, I couldn’t.” He clamped his eyes shut and gripped the back of John’s neck.

John puzzled the turn of events the last day had brought. He felt emotionally wrung-out, his emotions reeling from joy to fury, fury to hurt, back to anger and finally a mixture of all of those with a thick layer of confusion settling to the top. Looking at the image (slightly distorted from such close proximity) before him, the pieces were becoming clear.

He put himself in Sherlock’s shoes and thought about what he would have done—all other options taken away, no one but John and Mycroft to turn to, and Mycroft’s hands were tied, too much power was being pulled by Moriarty at the time, judge, jury, the entire police force under his manipulation. What would he have done?

It was with a start that he realized his decisions would have been not much different. Granted, he (as Sherlock) would have found some way to contact him (John) to let him know he (Sherlock) was alive, but that was only if he (Sherlock) had known that there would be absolutely no risk involving the death of his partner.

“How long have I been under surveillance?”

Sherlock’s eyes snapped open and narrowed, obviously trying to figure out how John was reacting to everything. “Since yesterday.”

It was John’s turn to blink. “For three years?”

Sherlock nodded. “The last one was Moriarty’s right-hand man. I think he was waiting for the right time to kill you. Obviously he enjoyed your… state of being, and decided that was better than killing you. When I found him, he told me about what had happened to you. Thought it would effect me in such a way that would enable him to escape.”

“It didn’t work.” It wasn’t a question.

Sherlock leaned away, his gaze perfectly serious as it bore into John’s. “Love is a much more vicious motivator, John.”

John’s brow creased with emotion as he looked at his flatemate-turned-friend-turned-partner’s face. His face had always perplexed John. The left side (as John saw it, or Sherlock’s right) was always perfectly controlled, a fierce mask to protect him. The right, however, always showed the truth of his feelings. The right side was gaunt, hallowed out, an almost crestfallen expression settling over it.

Freak.

That was what Sherlock was expecting.

We hated him.

Someday he’ll be the one to put it there.

You machine.

John winced, remembering his own contribution to the worst of humanity. “Sherlock.”

The detective saw the wince—he always saw—and could only assume based on what he knew, or thought he knew, and closed his eyes tight, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s fine.”

Eyes flew open again and he closed his mouth smartly.

“It’s all fine. Or it will be, if you promise not to do it again.”

Sherlock tilted his head to the side, perplexed. “You’re not going to punch me?”

“Nope.”

“Aren’t you angry?”

“Oh, more than I can possibly say.” He made himself take a deep breath and say what needed to be said. “It’ll take a while before I can trust you fully, before I can trust us again. But I would have done what needed to have been done and come back as soon as possible. You did exactly that, so it’s not like I can fault your choice of actions there. You have to promise me, though—promise me—that you won’t do that again. I can’t—” he broke off, pulling Sherlock by the lapels knock heads again, nose-to-nose. He closed his eyes and just breathed deeply before opening his eyes once more so Sherlock would understand what he was trying to say. ”We almost lost each other, Sherlock.”

Sherlock’s breath hitched as the message struck home. “John—”

John shook his head against the taller man’s and he pressed more firmly. “Promise me. I can’t do that again, Sherlock. I need you to promise.”

Sherlock looked absolutely torn. “If a similar situation—”

Promise me.

The detective wrapped his arms around his ex-army doctor and held him tightly, savoring the presence that he could have lost. “I promise you.”

John closed his eyes and reciprocated the embrace, burying his face in Sherlock’s scarf. “I love you,” he whispered fiercely.

“And I, you, John.”